The New Earth

In about 2003, I made an awesome game. Now, nearly 12 years later, the game has be remastered for peak quality!

...Actually, that's a lie. The original game was developed in around 2003, then I use RpgMaker XP to try to put together some sort of overambitious game. It feature-creeped, nothing in the game worked properly, and it was a horrible trainwreck that got rightly trashed by reviewers. Now, I could try to fix this game and do it right. But I realized the original game concept was so pretentious that the only place to go with it is parody. I'll probably bug-edit and fix game balance. But to a very large extent, yes, it's a parody of itself.

To those who have never played the original, it's interesting. And by "interesting", I mean "bad." You start in the woods outside a shed, eating a "mushroom" (actually a giant mushroom monster). Which triggers an event that gets you zapped to be punished for "raiding the storeroom." As you are on fire, your next challenge is to get a good soak. Somehow this leads to (a) a sex change, since all your male organs were burned off, and (b) a quest to fight a corrupt angel named Estheriel (fans of Oracle of Tao that actually made it to the Game Plus may remember her). To do so, you will need three allies: Kenpo, a martial arist; MewMew, a catgirl; and Michael, an angel. It's actually a simple dungeon crawl, but the first time I made this, I horribly overthought it.

Oh and ummm, you catch fairies to save. Some of them kill you instead. Good luck!